I received a call from a very dear friend of mine that her brother had died. Anthony was 43 years old and was important to me during a particular time in my life, several years ago. After the call, my mind was swept with thoughts of mortality, specifically my own ,and as I exited that dark, mental labyrinth I realized how grateful I was that I had some kind of belief about death. It's not a strongly tangible belief, (what belief is?) nor is it one that I could easily expound upon, but it comforted me. It comforts me to "believe" that there is a picture bigger than the one I see every day. The only problem is that if I'm simply believing in my bigger picture, I could be sitting right in the middle of a really bigger picture and not see it because it isn't getting through the filter my belief created.

Beliefs are big, bigger than I thought, after all, who doesn't have one? I'm beginning to believe that beliefs are one of the most blinding, binding, forces that we have and most of us aren't about to give them up.

All of us portray our beliefs in some form or another. Some are just more apparent than others. Bumper stickers can sometimes offer a clue to one's beliefs; "Shit Happens", "Shift Happens", "Visualize World Peace", "Visualize Whirled Peas", etc. Harvey knocks on wood every time he says something that sounds boastful, Gladys makes the sign of the cross when she gets scared, and Anne's in therapy because she believes she has trouble with intimacy. The list goes on because most everything we do functions from a core belief. Is Anne in therapy because she Really has an intimacy problem or is she just in conflict with her belief about love? On what criteria is she basing the problem and if she didn't have a belief about intimacy maybe she would just have an experience about the way she relates. Like most of us, Anne's relationship didn't match her belief so she desperately tries anything to change herself so that she can fit her own picture. If she had a different belief, perhaps she would have thoroughly enjoyed her way of relating. In this case, belief got in the way.

Think about it this way, You win a lottery. This is what our different beliefs may say: "I won because:

Christian: ...God has blessed me.

Conspiracy: ...Now the government can keep a closer eye on me.

Karma:...It was because I turned in that wallet when I was 12.

Past Life:...I was a witch, burned at the stake and my possessions were taken, now I get rewarded.

Astrologer:... Jupiter trined my Moon in the 5th.

Notice how our beliefs help us funnel the experience into a box that allows us to accept (or reject) what has happened. Perhaps that's their purpose; rather than having a direct experience, beliefs provide a framework where we can process the event and if we are processing the event we certainly aren't experiencing it. Or from another angle, we may be making choices, (consciously or unconsciously) that fit into our beliefs. We hear it over and over about the partner we dated who suspiciously evolves into the partner we just broke up with. Is that just coincidence or have we refined our beliefs so artfully that we can pick the person who precisely fits into our pattern?

Perhaps we can unconsciously make choices that support our beliefs and therefore end up literally creating a reality that is familiar because it matches what we believe to be true. Even if that reality isn't a "safe reality" it's the one believed to be true and therefore offers some reference point from which one can start processing their experiences. Someone once said, 'If you want to know what someone believes, look at their life.'

I imagine that seeing our own beliefs is difficult. After all, challenging a system that offers you complete security is not going to be readily accepted by your mind (or your ego). The Course in Miracles offers an interesting suggestion in starting to loosen the foundation of belief that you've accepted. Twice during a particular day apply this idea to your awareness "Nothing that I see means anything" not this table, this chair, this hand. Then the next day apply this idea at least twice in a day "I do not understand anything I see in this room, this place, on this street, about this person." These exercises may allow you to start to clear away past associations or at least make you aware of how much of what you see and belief is from some old idea.

What if you did dissolve your beliefs just for a day; where everything you experienced was dealt with as if it were your first encounter.Woody Allen once said to his Jewish movie sister, "If our parents had converted to Catholithism 5 minutes before you were born you would be celebrating Christmas and wondering why the Jews light Chanukah candles." [paraphrased] Understanding what you believe might be a key to understanding your experiences and eventually lead you to changing them. It's not an easy process. What we think we believe has a deeper truth which actually helped develop the belief. For example, Harvey may knock on wood not because he believes the Wood elementals will protect him but because deep within Harvey he believes it is unsafe to desire things fully and because of this belief of undeserving, Harvey developed a system to protect him. In this case, the belief takes a very positive experience and spits out a message that diminishes the potential joy.

The Mayo Clinic defines Compulsions as a set of behaviors which are developed to alleviate the anxiety created by obsessive thoughts. In a way, our beliefs could be likened to obsessive thoughts (probably unconscious) which we learn to be true and therefore develop behaviors that help us cope. For example, if you believe stepping on cracks will break your mother's back (obsessive) you may tend to not step on cracks (behavior resulting from belief) you may grow up finding that you really like large untiled floors in solid colors but now not have a clue where the original thought came from. But for your whole life the experience of walking is annihilated.

Religions present us guidelines or rules which I liken to the origin of many obsessive thoughts. Many of us are taught that there is a Male God making notes on our behavior. (origins of obsessive thinking). As children, Gods are like our biological Fathers, so a thought gets planted "God is our Father" and this belief then gets generalized to "God is like my Father" who for many of us is removed and distant and will enforce his discipline when we see him next. So, many people have a core belief that they are in this "world" alone but the distant removed, sometimes angry father will get them when it's over. That belief then sets the tone for every choice that is made. Julie picks men that are like her father because deep down she has a better chance of being closer to God. Barry marries a woman who completely dominates him which allows him to take the responsibility off of his head of what he believes a man should be. The examples could go on forever but each serve to illustrate how belief has potentially robbed us of our own experience.

People get arrogant about their beliefs. Look how many Millions were killed in the name of Christianity, or of Hitler. But no one is innocent. We protect our beliefs ferociously. How we view love, marriage, sexuality, body size. How we love to find scape goats for our own personal internal fears. Many people have said to me, "I don't believe in Astrology and hold their ears while I dismiss them in the same way as being too Uranian or Saturnian." No one is innocent but most of us are afraid. Afraid of losing our way of dealing with the world and afraid to take the risk necessary to experience it another way. The movie "The Matrix" hit some important issues dealing with beliefs. What if this were really all a dream? Don't dismiss it too quickly, I know how you like to defend your beliefs.

I'm not suggesting that beliefs are bad, on the contrary, they are a great coping device. It's just that they might limit our ability to have varied experiences. If beliefs are a way to help us "process an experience" then it would seem wise to choose our beliefs as consciously as we can or at the very least just become aware of what we belief and perhaps why (though personally I think the "why" part is often useless, but comforting). Watch closely what happens to you when you start to question a belief. Feelings of guilt, fear, or even freedom may emerge each offering you a clue as to how locked in you are, and how desperately you want something to believe in. Personally, I think it's frightening to not have answers to everything, yet we live our life avoiding answers, as if we are safer being blind in our familiarity. Our experiences here are personal, they belong to each of us, and our way of accepting them is to find a comfortable paradigm for all of these experience to fit into. Perhaps if we concentrate more on "how to have an experience" and less on "where does this experience fit into my beliefs" we would be better equipped to accept what comes down the pike.

So in reading this, try not to believe it, just have an experience of it. Let the experience evoke a feeling and then feel that feeling. Thank you, Anthony.

Peace,
Mark